Thursday, September 29, 2005

ummmm I dunno

I have no idea what to put for a title. hehehee Whatever.

Anyhow...this week marks the beginning of my seasonal, un healthy infatuation with the hot cocoa again. My husband was so disturbed by it last year, that he wanted to seek out professional help for me. But...HA IN YOUR EYE!!!!! Because of my hordings, and booby trapping the hiding place I have an entire 1/2 can, that's half a giant can of hot cocoa powder to start this season off with. *insert evil laugh here*

There has been an amazing pinon season this year. Past few years it was horrible, not enough rain. But this year. Oh my, so many pinons, and they are so dang big. Pinons being a pine nut that is harvested off of the Pinon Pine tree. It's a big thing here. Alot of the older Navajo's go out pinon collecting, then they cook them up and sell them. We have always bought a bag or two of pinons each year. Being as that is all we can afford. Take a ziplock sandwich bag and maybe put a measured cup or cup and a half in it. And they sell those for about 5 bucks a piece. It's horrible, but it's a delicacy we like to indulge in each year. This year the crop is HUGE. Seems like everyone is selling pinons this year. Gigantor bought a 3lb bag of raw one's for 5 bucks. We are going to try to cook them ourselves. Never done it before, so wish me luck. hehehee
Also... that made me have this kookie idea. I thought Hmmmm we haven't been up to the mountain in a long time (Kaibab national forest) Why not go up on Saturday, and pick our own pinons. We could go spend the day on the mountain, have a picnic, and spend our time raking under tree's, then beating the hell out of the tree, then collecting all the nuts off the ground. hehehehe I may regret this, but I think it sounds like fun.

OOOOOooOoO another cool thing about the Kaibab. Have any of you heard about the rare Kaibab Squirrel??? It's beautiful. Only place on earth it's found, and we are only an hour from it. hehehehe It's a blackish grey with a solid white tail, and no it isn't a skunk. LOL Anyhow, I found this cute little sight that a guy photo documented a rare encounter with one. So.... Click here It's some of the best photo's of the squirrel I've seen. Plus I thought it was a cute little encounter.

Anyhow, the Kaibab being up on the rims of the Grand Canyon. That is where we are going. Hope to see squirrels, birds, and deer. NO BEARS!!!! or NO MOUNTAIN LIONS!!!!! And we hope to see and get about 50 gazillion nuts. hehehehehe

Happy Thursday everyone!!!!

p.s. Pinon is pronounced Pin (as in stick pin) and Yon (or yawn)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Stupid Animals

I know I haven't posted in a while. Been busy you know. Taking care of house, school, work, and Avon stuff. Then we went to the fall festival on Saturday. Also took kiddo and a friend to the movies. Went and seen Disney's Valiant. It was cute.

Anywhooo I was gonna talk about my stupid animals. I don't know what's gotten into them, but they all have a case of the stupids. Must be something in the weather. Lets take the parakeets for instance. They can't seem to stay on their perches the past few days. Everything they try to do, they just fricken fall off. Right to the bottom of the cage. Now, Flutter, he does that on a regular basis anyway. But, Sassy, tries to climb over to the swing, and BAM right to the bottom, so she climbs back up and goes and pecks the shit out of Flutter. Like it was his fault, and all he was doing is singing to himself in the mirror.

Now the gerbils. Remember we got three little girl gerbils. Or at least I am still hoping. No babies yet, so yayyyyyyyyyyy. Anyhow, these little shits have decided they are professional wrestlers. They stand up on their hind legs and face off, and start doing this little boxing thing. Well, they move their bedding around till there are little hills in their cage. As they box, they then grab each other, and start rolling off these hills. Ass over teakettle. It's actually quite amusing. But I've never seen gerbils so animated before.

Now my cat Bugsy. Or should I say Gigantor's cat. We have a Russian Blue. He's beautiful, but he's a shit head. He has a ton of extra toes (32 in all) But he's a biter. He will nip you all the dam time, and if he gets mad, then just WHAM big old bite. Well here lately, I don't know what it is. Gigantor will be sitting on the couch with his shoes off, and just socks on. Bugsy will come walking out of the kitchen, and walk up to his foot and WHAM!!!! then run off. He has bitten a few good holes in Gigantor's toes lately. And we don't know why. I swear you can see him laughing as he runs off.

Now to one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. We have three dogs. A 10 year old bassett named Buck (affectionately called "roadblock" "speedbump" and "old man") a 6 year old bassett named Dribbles (just called "shit for brains" or "shit head") And a 10 year old pointer/greyhound mix named Buster. That has the worst anxiety. Separation and otherwise. Well....We keep t.v. trays here. We use them when we have people over, or when we want to eat and watch t.v. The kiddo loves to have one out and eat his breakfast while watching cartoons on the weekend. So...the t.v. try was still set up by the love seat. If I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen I can look directly at the front of the love seat. Then to the right of it is the hallway, then the front door. Well...I was sitting at the table doing my Avon order. And all the dogs were whining, cuz they heard "daddy" drive up. So....Gigantor opens the door. And Buster, decides to play one of his "oh my god, I'm scared of you" run away anxiety things. Well, he spins around, and dodges up under that t.v. tray. Well...Buster is tall, so instead of ducking, he hits his head on the t.v. tray, scares himself, pisses on the floor as he jumps, and starts running jumping like a gazelle, with this dam t.v. tray attached to his back. Every run/jump he took the t.v. tray went up in the air and forward, and landed back on his back. Scared himself so bad, he almost had a heart attack. Ran all the way into the kitchen, where I grabbed the t.v. tray. Then Buster succeeded in jamming himself behind the toilet to hide. He finally came back out after all the laughter died down. But he now jumps every time he walks by that evil, killer t.v. tray.

Okay now that I explained that. I have one dog licking the gerbil cage, so I'm gonna go throw them all out.

Happy Tuesday everyone!!!!!
P.S. Enjoy the pic.

This is a herd of Blesbok. They are endangered. Says they are from South Africa and both male and females have the antlers. I'm suspecting this one is preggers female. hehehehe Pretty things though. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Donalds Hair and Updates

Well just wanted to pop in and give a shout out. *cough cough*
We got an update on mom, she is still in the hospital with fluid in her left lung and fluid around her heart. She is taking medication, and they are talking about doing a procedure, of sticking a small needle in and taking the fluid out that way. She might be able to go back to the nursing home on Saturday, but we aren't holding our breath.

My friends husband was released from the hospital.. They found out he has a rare form of epilepsy. That is brought on by stress and fatigue. They gave him some meds and that should take care of it.

All the schools are closed tomorrow for an in service teacher day. So the kids get a three day weekend. yayyyyyyyyy hehehehe

I really have nothing very interesting of my own to say. I'm rather boring today.

Thank everyone for the halloween suggestions in last post. I couldn't stop laughing at the Jehovas Witness one. Although I don't think my 9 year old boy will go for that. Maybe a monster eating a Jehovas Witness. LOL
I swear if he does the in/out the front door in 30 seconds slamming it again today, he's gonna just be a walking pile of goo, so no need for a costume then. What is with little boys saying they want to play outside, then go in and out in and out, slamming the door each time. About 5 gazillion times in 5 minutes???? ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay I'm gonna go make a garlicy, onionie, tomatoe ie, cheesey, chicken dish. hehehehehee I'm hungry

I posted another pic, he cracks me up. But is beautiful none the less.
Happy Thursday everyone!!!!!!!!

This is an Arabian Oryx. They are an endangered species. It says that the wild arabian oryx became extinct in 1972. They were bread and re introduced in 1982 and again in 1990. The drink no free water, they obtain it from plants they eat. The brochure says they rarely approach vehicles, cuz they are shy, but let me tell you these guys were always at our windows. I really like him cuz he has a really bad toupe going on. hehehe I think I will call him Donald (as in Trump) I'm not sure which one has better hair. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

What the Hell Just Happened??

That's what I want to know. What the hell just happened??? hehehehe Yesterday wasn't to bad of a day. I mean I got up and wasn't over tired. Kiddo got up in a good mood. I dinked around on the computer then got this massive spurt of energy and got off and did a bunch of work around the house. While I was in the middle of doing some paperwork. A friend called me to tell me her husband was in the hospital. Her and her husband moved back to Iowa to take care of his mother who has breast cancer. friend started having alot of health issues, with her heart, and some other things. Her husband was the one that drove her and her mother in law around, and took care of them. He's never been sick, save for a cold. Well...he woke her up on Sunday night with this weird noise, and he was having massive seizures. She called 911. They ran some tests, said they couldn't find anything, and sent him home. An hour later he was having another seizure. This time he was flown out to the university hospital. The first initial cat scan showed a spot on his brain, but they said they wouldn't know for sure till he had an mri. He was waiting to be admitted into the neurological unit when I talked to her. Haven't gotten an update yet.

Then about 5 something this morning. Alekx calls me to tell me that they had to put mom back in the hospital. Her heart rate was way high, and she was having some chest pains. Last time I talked to Alekx (right before getting on) they were running tests and going to get her admitted.

Grrrrrrrrrrr what the hell is going on??? That light at the end of the tunnel, which was really a train, plowing us over an over again. Well...I thought the train had run out of gas, cuz things were going good. But nOooOooOo somebody gassed up that fucking train, and now it's back to running our asses over again.

Oh can't end just cuz bad things happen in it. It's all about how you choose to live it. And I choose to live it with a beer in my hand and screaming WHAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! LOL

Okay I know it's over a month away, but I'm stressing about halloween. I usually make the kiddo's costumes. But we don't have a dam clue what to make him this year. He is even clue less. So...people give me suggestions for a 9 year old, who is almost 5 feet tall, and is 120lbs. He has been a soldier, ninja, snake, dinosaur, and when he was a baby he was tigger and when he was a new born he was a pea in a pod. hehehehe So give me some suggestions. We wanted to have him and a friend go as jeckle and hyde, but they both want to be the monster. We suggested a werewolf and his victim, but they both wanted to be a werewolf. My favorite is I suggested a booger and a finger, but they didn't like that idea. But...we don't even know if we can get a partner for him, so I need ideas for just him. You all are twisted and demented, give me some ideas!!!!!

Happy Tuesday everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

11 O'clock news

It's 11 Sunday morning, and just thought I would pop in and say howdy. hehehehe

Friday Gigantor took off work, and we took kiddo out of school to take him to Flagstaff to the dentist. Finally gonna get that broken tooth fixed. Flagstaff is about 2 1/2 hours away from us. Thank goodness we didn't hit any real bad rain storms this time. Well...for almost the entire time I was massively "side seat" driving to Gigantor. So...we stop at this gas station to go potty. And he just sits there with the bell dinging, and his door open, looking like a dumb ass. So...I scream "LIGHTS!!!" as he turns off the lights he says, massively snotty "CAMMMERAA" (in that little kid snotty kind of voice) he was just trying to piss me off. When from out of the back seat, kiddo leaps forward with his head between ours and screams "ACTION!!!" We just couldn't stop cracking up. Here we are being snotty, smart asses to each other, irritating each other, and kiddo has no clue, and is trying to be "in" on the fun. hehehehe

We get to the dentist at 11:15, kiddo's appointment is at 11:30. We were told that reconstructing his tooth could take 2 to 4 hours. So...we wait and wait and they don't even call kiddo back till 12:20. I'm thinking "great, we are gonna get home so late" Well...we start reading the books we brought, to settle in for the long haul. About 15 minutes later kiddo walks out and says "mommy Dr. Turnbull wants to talk to you" (that's what they do is send the kids after you when their done) I'm like "what's wrong?? did you get sick??" Kiddo says "No, I'm done" WHAT??? So...we go back, and Dr. Turnbull tells us how kiddo was so amazing, didn't want numbed or anything, and asked if they could go back in one corner away from the "screaming" little kids and get it done really fast. So...that is exactly what they did. One brand new front tooth for kiddo, hardly any time spent, and best part is he can go eat.

We went and grabbed sonic then went to Bookmans Used Book store. I got like 8 or 9 books, Gigantor got like 8 Clive Cussler books, and we got kiddo 4 of the coolest dang books. We then went over to cold stone creamery. I know I know not on my diet, but the closest one is Flag, and we only go to flag about twice a year, so I don't think it will kill me. We sat and ate our ice cream and headed home. Got in about 6 that evening.

Yesterday we took kiddo and his friend bigJ to see March of the Penguins. It was nice. Cute and sad, a documentary, but they did it up real good. We then took bigJ with us to play for a while.

Today Gigantor and BigJ's dad went out coyote hunting. So Goober called and asked if me and kiddo wanted to go to breakfast with her and bigJ and princessM. That was fun, just us and the kids. Went to one of Gigantors favorite places so I got to rub it in when he got home. hehehehe

Now kiddo is up playing at bigJ's and Gigantor ran to walmart for me. I didn't want to go. hehehehe

OoOOOO last night Gigantor cut up an onion then without washing his hands or knife, cut up the honeydew melon. I love onions, and I love honeydew, but onion flavored honeydew is not the best thing in the world. hehehehe

Since I got up early and went to breakfast, and nobody is here. I'm thinking about going and taking a nap. I'll probably sit up and read everyone's blogs instead.

Okay I know I bored you all to sleep, but wake up and comment anyway. hehehehe

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I just got back from the chiropractor, where he fondled, groped, pushed, prodded, and played with my ass. *sigh* You all would be as content as me if you seen my chiropractor, he is scrumdilliumpscious!!! Ask Alekx, she went to school with him. You know back in the time when they had to ride their dinosaurs to school. hehehee Anyhow...Dr. Hunky totally worked on my ass and hip today. It got to the point that I was going Ouch ouch ouch, and he was grunting. (I know sounds like bad sex session) and he goes, well if your hip would just let loose it wouldn't hurt anymore. Couple more ouch's and I felt this big POP. Same time I scream YES he goes, there it's out now!! Now tell me if you were just walking by, what you would think was going on in there?? hehehehe

So anyhow I got my morning thrill by being fondled by the Hunky doctor. OOoOoOoO and Pitch Black, you little shit. The rest of my body is catching on thank you very much. I now have a cold, and it's trying to do me in too.

We made something very yummie and low fat last night. And, Miranda told me I should write the recipe down. I agree. But thought better of it today. I don't think it's in good form to put a yummie recipe down with a picture of a live critter. hehehehehe Seems sorta morbid.

Okay well the dog farted behind me, and now I'm gagging, so I'm gonna go kick him, and take more cold pills.

Happy Hump Day everyone!!!!!

Enjoy the pic.

This little guy is a Blackbuck, mostly found in India and Pakistan. They are one of my favorites due to the coloring. I love it around the eyes. Just beautiful I think Posted by Picasa

Monday, September 12, 2005

My Ass Hates Me and I Think It's Trying To Kill Me!!!!

Yes I'm still having woes with my ass!!! What the hell is wrong with my ass, to make it want to kill me??? I mean my tailbone is still bothering me. I've lost some weight, and it hurts constantly now. I'm sitting on pillows all the time. And a couple weeks ago. I think I have pinched or hurt my siatic (spelling) nerve or something. Cuz I have pain in the back of my right knee, going up the back of my right thigh, cutting a path up my right ass cheek, and settling in my hip. Well...a few days ago, my lower back started hurting so bad, it just makes my entire ass hurt. THE WHOLE BIG ASS THING!!!! (OoOoo I made a pun) Anywhoo....I can sit, okay, standing and walking are worse, but sleeping. There is no fucking sleeping. On my sides kill my lower back and hip, flat on my back, my ass just throbs. I've taken to sleeping in a complete sitting up position, and my ass still hurts, not only that, but it gives me a crick in the neck. I swear someone took a contract out on me, and my ass is trying to collect the bounty. Now if I end up getting ass acne, that is the final straw and I will DEMAND an entire ass transplant.

In other news, despite my ass, we had a pretty good weekend. Did some shopping, did some housework, went bowling and watched a couple movies. We rented Hostage and the Ring 2. Hostage was pretty darn good. Better than I expected. Ring 2, what can I say?? It was a sequel. It picked up where the other left off. But it was not near as good as the first one. Although Gigantor and I are convinced that the girl in the Ring movies could be the same girl in The Grudge. (the evil one, not the blonde)

We still have NO gerbil babies yet. Although that one is still running around humping the sides, backs and faces of the other two. I think (or am hoping) we just have one pervie gerbil.

I'm outa things to talk about. I could ramble about nothing like usual, but I think I'm gonna go do something else. hehehehe

Happy Monday everyone!!!!

p.s. blogger is not letting me comment, so if I haven't commented on your blog in a while, it's cuz blogger sucks major donkey dick!!!!!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Gosh I don't have much of anything today. My weekend was boring and lazy as hell. We had made plans to go do quite a few things, and didn't do a dam one of them. One of my friends came into town with her new baby and we visited for about 5 hours or more on Saturday morning. But after that--NOTHING. We lazed around and watched movies all weekend. I feel like such a dolt. We were gonna go to the lake, or the mountain or bowling, or all of them. But NoOoOooO we got lead in our asses and just stayed here. Oh well, can't turn back time. Yesterday I was gonna post, and I got not feeling well. It felt like an elephant sat on me or something. I slept almost the entire day. Then I couldn't sleep last night, so serves my dumb butt right. Today I have tried to be on top of all the stuff I need to do. And dammit all, but I've had a craving for french fries for 4 days. WTF is with that??? Okay, I'm tired of being cranky, I'm gonna go kick the dog, flush the fish, feed the gerbils to the cat, and set the birds free, see if that makes me feel better. (kidding people, don't message me. sheesh)
Okay on that note, I'm gonna go. Wanted to leave you all with another picture, of an awesome Fallow Deer.

Happy Hump Day!!!

I just thought this was one of the coolest Fallow Deer there. They have a HUGE herd of fallow deer. The write up says fallow deer can be spotted, white, or chestnut color. This guy is just so beautiful. Their antlers are fuzzy. Not "in velvet" like alot of local species, but theirs stay fuzzy all year long, and have big scoops like moose. Although this deer is just slightly bigger than a white tail. Anyhow, I'm sure those of you that hunt, or has family that hunts knows what I'm talking about. Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 02, 2005

Plucky Comic Relief

I just thought everyone could use a good laugh. Revives the soul. I know this is kind of long, but oh so worth the read. I got it in an e-mail a few years back, and have saved it. Hope you all giggle till you gotta pee, like I did. hehehehe


I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so increibly dangerous!

Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being “behind the power curve”. It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.
I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that “edge” so frequently required when riding

Little did I suspect…

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.

I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!” or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.
Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel.

This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him

I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.

The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn T-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however

The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop

Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn T-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.
So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the professionals handle it” anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…

That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.

As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80 mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!! Hope you got a giggle.