Thursday, October 28, 2004

Empty Brain

I've been wanting to blog for a few days now. But my brain is so empty. I think it's the life getting sucked out of me from worrying about my mom, and trying to help take care of her. It gets to be way to much, and my poor husband is saddled with a lot, cuz there is only so much I can do. Oh well. Enough self pity.

We went to parent teacher conferences on Tuesday. The little squirt is not doing to bad. He's actually doing pretty good in most stuff. Although he does have a C in social studies. But I never did real good in that either. And he has a D in spelling and writing. The teacher showed us a paper he had to write, and there was no capitalization and no punctuation. So he got a D on it. But...I was thinking to myself, that it didn't look any different from most adult males writings. hehehehe I swear most of the adult males I know either never capitalize or every letter is a capital. And punctuation.... forget about it. If a period happens to sneak in there it's a miracle. And...God forbid there should be any comma's, apostrophes, exclamation points, or question marks. It's always an adventure reading mens writing. And space between the words?? Forget about it... I think it's a game with them, to see if us women can decipher a full letter out of something that looks like one lower case/capital big page long word. Heheheehe (fondly remembering the letters from my husband when he was overseas in the Navy) Gosh how each one gave me a headache, from trying to decipher it. So...when the teacher showed us this. I thought to myself. "and what's the problem" I also thought "wow he is right up there with other guys" Guess they expect 8 year old boys to write better than 30 something men. Oh my goodness. Did you know that they also have a grade for "working well with others" and "keeping your hands to yourself" When did this start?? I don't remember those on my report cards. And how very embarrassing if your child gets a F in that subject. How do you explain to young kids. "well your academic scores are great, but you have shitty social skills" Isn't that just a nerd in the making if we point all that out. My god they are 5 to 8 year olds. I don't know any of them that "work well with others" or "keep their hands to themselves" Have you ever tried to make an elementary school kid not touch someone else all day??? Stupid ass morons these schools can be. I mean what is that like in class??? Is it the whole cootie factor they work on?? "Little Johnny, don't poke/hug/pat/touch in anyway your partner or you'll get cooties" Are the children that are most afraid of the cooties gonna be the one's that get A's in this subject?? As long as it's not physically harming contact, I hope my child fails this subject. Haven't they proven that physical contact is good for us?? Are we just raising a bunch of recluses, that become obsessive compulsive. Like "rain man", 30 year old adults that are afraid of any physical contact. I say Big Giant Raspberries to the school boards that have put this into effect. And I waggle my middle finger at you. Good luck at not repeating Columbine with this kind of attitude. Yo, Dick Heads, maybe the subject should say "will not Bully other students or teachers" not "keeps hands to themselves" Big kudos to the 5 year old that kissed his classmate on the cheek and then got expelled for sexual harassment. And bigger kudos to his parents for suing the school district. May all children all be so loving they hug or kiss someone on the cheek everyday!!!!

Oh my I'm so high up on the soap box you all look like little ants down there. I'm not sure I can climb down. So, as I call for a rescue chopper, I wish you all to hug and kiss a child and to teach them that being loving and physical is wonderful. To hell with the dumb asses trying to run the schools. This box may topple over before the chopper gets here. Wish me luck.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

What a busy past 3 days. My close friend came up from Phoenix and surprised me. She sure was a big help getting mom out of the hospital and all settled in. We also had a good visit I think. She's a gem. Love her lots and lots. I LOVE YOU BURFICA JR. HEHEHEHE

Okay so on Friday all the kids up at the elementary school got to carve pumpkins for the pumpkin festival on Saturday. Our little town has the state record with most carved pumpkins in one place. Over 1000 last year. So, any how, I'm not so sure that giving a bunch of elementary school kids sharp objects is such a good idea. It was like a pumpkin massacre. Pumpkin guts flying in all directions. The little kids holding their knives up above their heads attacking the pumpkins again and again. I swear you could hear the creepy music from the shower scene in psycho. (EEE EEE EEE EEE) My son came home covered in pumpkin goo. He even had it stuck on his glasses.

Friday night we got mom home from the hospital and set up. Then we were so tired. We ended up having pizza for dinner. Watched a couple movies....They Rocked.... Van Helsing, and Day After Tomorrow.

Saturday we had a big day of fun. We went up to the pumpkin festival at the city park. Walked around among 100's of pumpkins looking for the only Cyclops pumpkin there (my son what can I say) Found it. Then headed over to the stage to watch some of the locals, we have quite a few local people that have their own CD's out. And they perform at all our big functions. So watched a performance while getting my son's costume on (a Ninja) and watched him in the costume contest. We then walked amongst all the the vendors out there. There was food, and books, and crafts all going on. Nothing I couldn't live without of course. My friend and I went over to one booth that had some very nice quilts. It was run by one of the neighboring towns polygamist wives. When asked how much a particular quilt was, she said 300 dollars. WTF??? I mean they have all the extra wives that help do this stuff. How in Gods green earth do you sell a quilt for 300 bucks and still have a conscious??? I mean yes it was very pretty, but fuck the threads would have to be solid gold. Ya know?? So... anyhow... we choked and moved on. Let the kiddo play on some rides, and some games. Wondered back over and saw the results of the costume contest. (he didn't win...sniffle... they always pick the little tiny kids) Then they had trick or treating at all the booths. So the kid, went around and got a grocery bag over 1/3 of the way full of candy, that he will never eat. And we came back to watch the dancers. Got some food. Cheeseburger for the kid. And for 5 bucks me and the husband got a BIG bbq sandwich, dutch oven potatoes, baked beans, and a soda. It was way good. We watched some more of the live entertainment, and took the kiddo for more games and rides. Then we headed home. He got some cotton candy and a snowie. We ended up getting some kettle corn, and cinnamon glazed almonds. (yummmmmmmm) We then went over to mom's and did a few things around her house, and came home and I started dinner. Everyone else went back up to the haunted house. Lots of fun. Boy were we tired as all get out last night though.

Today, Sunday, we have just been cleaning on the house some, and helped mom out some. Watched a little t.v. Now it's dark and I want to go to bed again, but it's only 5:30 ugggghhhh LOL

On to the week, to maybe recuperate from the weekend.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Hot Cocoa Fetish

My husband thought he could cure my hot cocoa fetish. He found out I was hiding the tin of the last of the hot cocoa mix. When he went to retrieve it, he set off a slew of booby traps. I heard the sirens and alarms go off. I came running. After clearing the air of the stink bomb that went off, removing his fingers from the large rat trap, and doctoring the skin from the mild electrical shock he received. I punched in my pass code and turned off the alarms. I then looked at him and said MINE!! in a very Linda Blair kind of voice. He says... "But honey I fixed it, I bought another big tub of the hot cocoa mix" He just doesn't understand. So I hold this can like a precious jewel, grumbling about having to find a new hiding spot and resetting the alarms and booby traps, and I walk away. Now little does he know. This hot cocoa thing can consume a person. Now when I get my hot cocoa from the new can I add a scoop or two of the powder to the old can and re-hide it. hehehehehe MINE MINE MINE.

Okay everyone has heard the expression "light at the end of the tunnel" husband and I found that light. We had been having some financial problems, among other stuff. And everything seemed to come together to be taken care of. So..Just when we thought we would step out of the tunnel into the daylight. We realized that the light was actually headlights from and oncoming semi truck, that just ran our asses over. hehehe So, when we think everything is going good, the suburban breaks down, my mother goes into the hospital (pneumonia), my son needs new glasses, and my knees start hurting so bad I can barely walk. So.... maybe there is a hint of light again. Because we fixed the suburban, and mom is supposed to get out of the hospital today, make an appointment for the kid, and I will just deal with my knees (grunting and groaning). Now the only thing we are wondering is if the light we see now at the end of the tunnel is really daylight, or is it a convoy of those fricken semi's gonna run our ass over again and again.

My family is proof that God has a sense of humor.

Monday, October 18, 2004

The Weekend

Even though it's extremely bad for you... did anyone ever notice how good a cup o'noodles soup taste on a dreary cold day?? Any how now you all know what I had for lunch. I am so glad it is Monday. Maybe I can get some rest after the weekend we had. What a busy weekend. I should have gone to an Avon meeting on Friday night. But...I started running a fever so I didn't make it. (stupid cold or flu or whatever won't let go of me) On Saturday me and the hubby ran all over grocery shopping. We got my mom her groceries too, cuz she is so very sick also. We didn't even get home till 6 in the evening, then we had to put it all away and make some dinner. We rented some movies for the weekend. All of them were good. Our favorite one was probably the cheapest one they made. We watched Walking Tall with the Rock in it. It was very good. seemed like they just weren't sure how to elaborate on it. We watched The Alamo....also good, but not great. I was expecting great, but was disappointed. We watched one called Ella Enchanted....what a good movie, it was so cute, and done really nice. Probably the best out of the three movies we watched, and I'm a huge Rock fan, so that's saying a lot. On Sunday I did up my Avon order. Took me much longer than I thought it would...took me a few hours. We did some cleaning up, then my husband had to go uptown again. We cooked a big beef roast for dinner....with all the trimmings, potatoes, carrots, onions, and mushrooms. Ohhh it was so tender and good, makes me hungry just thinking about it. Thank goodness for leftovers.

Okay here is my question.... Is it a sin to covet hot cocoa??? We had bought this really big tub of hot cocoa mix. I would have some in the mornings when it's cold, my son would have some after a cold soccer game, and my husband would make some to take to work in the mornings. (he goes to work at 5 in the morning summer or winter) Well....we are getting to the bottom of the can, and I have hidden it. hehehehe Mine mine mine. Which is so odd for me. You all know I will give absolutely anything to my husband and son. Even if I really really want it. I will give it to them if they want it. That's just the way it is. But, dammit, that hot cocoa is MINE!!! Okay maybe I do need some professional help. Now you have to ask yourselves. "How boring is this poor ladies life that she would horde a small amount of hot cocoa powder, then obsess over it"? Well, if you know me at all, you all would know that it's not that strange at all for me to do something like that. And, it's not cuz I'm bored....It's cuz I'm disturbed. muh hahahahaha Look out. :)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

The Don't Do's

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I learned that one shouldn't do in the past month or so. Thought I might share some of them in case any of you are contemplating doing any of them. hehehehee

Don't feed a dog chili (you can imagine)
Don't tell 8 year old boys that gold fish like to be petted.
Don't reheat leftover bacon in the oven for over a minute (did you know bacon can go up in flames??)
Don't pass gas in public around a child (they will inform everyone who it is)
Don't burp into an automated voice system on a phone (they will connect you with a foreign country)
Don't tell an 8 year old where the super glue is.
Don't sneeze when a cat is sleeping on your lap. (those of you who own cats know what I'm talking about)
Don't sneeze while brushing your teeth. (ickyyyyyyyy ewwwwwwww)
Don't feed a fish marshmallows.
Don't walk into the bathroom when your husband is on the toilet giggling.
Don't eat or drink something that your 8 year old brings into you saying "taste this please" (always question what it is)
Don't taste anything that looks like brown gravy spilled on the counter, especially when you didn't have gravy for dinner. (for my brother-in-law)
Don't call a mother picking up her kid at school and idiot driver when yours and her windows are down.
Don't yell BOO next to the bird cage (seems parakeets can explode)
Don't tie a balloon to a dogs tail. for that matter
Don't tie a balloon to a cats tail. (since it was so much fun with the dogs) and
Don't let the balloon float to bump the bird cage (seems parakeets can explode twice)
And my big one. We live in a tight nit little neighborhood. Everyone likes to spend time outside. so... Don't leave the door open when you have a family like mine. Or the entire neighborhood will hear things like "Get your head out of the toilet" and "Stop that! Hamsters can't swim" and "DON'T YOU DARE SUPER GLUE THAT CAT TO THE DOG" and " If you keep forcing yourselves to fart your going to explode". At least the neighbors get a laugh.
And the honorable mention. Don't tell your son that something won't fit up his nose.

I'm sure I will have much more Don't do's as time goes by. Hope this stops some of you from making a big mistake. hehehehehe

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Killer Stairs or Graceful Men??

Okay everyone knows I'm one of the worlds biggest klutzes. husband makes me look absolutely graceful. So.. our poor child is just doomed, doomed I tell ya. I mean I've done my fair share of stumbling and falling down, tripping, stubbing toes (even broke one I stubbed it so hard), and walking into things (walked into a closet door, gave myself a black eye). But my husband is the only person I have ever met that has stepped on his own thumb at a dead run. He's fallen off stuff out at work. He's fallen in the house, and for a few years, every day, he tripped and fell up or down our stairs. And now our poor son. He trips and falls over air. Just up and whoop....face plant. Or he walks into stuff when he's looking right at it. Then there is the ricochet effect. Your walking fast or running and bounce off a wall or object, and plow right into something else. Double wammie.

So...over the past year or so, we have been doing pretty well. We have been a fall free family. So the other day, all the falls must have been building themselves up. Cuz wow. My son and I are sitting in the house visiting with a couple friends waiting for my husband to come home. Well, we hear his truck, then this god awful noise like he crashed into the house, and him coming in going Ouch my knee. I go what happened did you fall up the stairs?? he goes, yeah. And walks toward the kitchen. Well...our friends are laughing and ask how anyone can fall up stairs. So my husband has to go back outside, and my son goes with. You hear boonga boonk, and my son laughing up a storm. I go what happened?? My son says " daddy just slid down the stairs on his butt" I'm thinking 'twice in one day, oh man this is bad'. Well I hear my son playing on the stairs, a loud KAPLUNK bang and screaming. I run to the door asking what happened. And him and his daddy said he nose dived off the porch but it was okay cuz the railing stopped him (by his head slamming into it). So, I'm bringing the kiddo in for an ice pack, and our friend says I gotta see what's wrong with your steps. So...brave David ventures outside. And we hear boonga, thumpa, clunk. He comes back in all red. I'm like OMG David did you fall down the stairs. He mutters "yeah". I just couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. Of course there were a couple more minor trips up or down the stairs that day. But... all has been quite for the past while. I'm sure something is just building up again. Gonna be more graceful days at our house soon I'm sure. Which brings me to the question. Anyone ever stepped on a stray dryer sheet that's on the linoleum floor??? What a ride that one. Try it if you haven't. hehehehehe
Happy walking everyone. Hope yours is fall free.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Cats, gurglie noses, and icky dog tummies

This morning I had thrown the covers off me cuz I was hot. Then I woke up to this weird sensation. My cat was rubbing his face on my big toe, and kept raking his teeth across my toe. It was a funky feeling and a sorta paranoid feeling. If any of you know my cat, you know his teeth, and his love for biting, and his multiple claws. So I lay there contemplating if I'm gonna yell stop to him, or kick him in the head. But then I thought he just might get ticked and bite my big toe off. So I lied there, scared, and getting kitty drool all over my foot. ickyy ewwwwwww Thankfully my husband came home and walked in. (the cat is in total love/lust with my husband) and the minute he walked in Bugsy was off to see his lover. hehehehe I swear this cat, follows my husband around like three steps behind him. Wherever he sits the cat sits, he sleeps at his feet, he is just so in love with him. Sometimes I think the cat is making plans on how to get rid of me so he can have him all to himself.

I had a day full of crying. My dad called saying he found out from a little birdie that we were struggling a little (little birdie being my sister I'm sure) So... he told me to look for a check in the mail. And that made me cry, cuz he really can't afford to be doing stuff like that. So, it made me cry. Then in the mail, I got a box from my sister and brother-in-law, it was quite a bit of clothes for my son (I was having a hard time getting all his school clothes) So... the water works start again. As I'm looking through the other mail, there is and envelope from my dad, the snot sent me 5 times what I thought he was going too. So, cry central here. Now, since I've been sick, that made my nose stop all up again. So... I'm doing the gurgle slurp breathing thing again. uuuuggggghhhhh but I LOVE YOU DADDYYYYYYY!!!!! I LOVE YOU SISSY AND BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness. I need to find out what is wrong with my dog. But first I need to find out which dog it is. Of course it could be a multi lateral attack and it could be all three of them. But one of my dogs is having stomach problems. They will be lying here on the floor and it makes that awful gurgle bang noise that a backed up toilet makes. I'm afraid one of them is just gonna up and explode. So we changed a little stuff in their diet see if that would help. Now my house is this toxic gas zone. I have a green cloud in it all the time. If I can figure out how to move the computer outside I think I'm gonna live outside, let them have the house. Them and the husband and son can sit and fart at each other all day. Anybody with a good gas mask let me borrow it please. It's already killed my plants, and I think my hair is starting to fall out.... the fish are dead, and the parakeets are choking. Heeeeeeeelllllllllppppppppppppp

Friday, October 08, 2004

Feeling Better

Today I'm still sick, and taking medication. But...I'm feeling much better. I have some good antibiotics in me... and now my head doesn't feel like an 18 wheeler is parked on top of it. And I can breath with out making that "slurp gurgle" noise.

I have one rant, then I'm done with dwelling on this. Why do people you barely know or who you've said maybe 5 words too have to tell lies about you?? And why do the people they tell them to believe them without talking to you first?? Some "soccer mom" went to one of the coaches (whom I think is a great guy and have defended his character to people before) and told him that I said a bunch of crap. And this guy believed her, and confronted my husband about it. (I wasn't at the game I was home sick) My husband said. I'm sure she never said that stuff. And this guy goes, well she was named specifically and specific things were said. So... right there you can tell he is gonna believe the other person and not you. So... I get all upset when told about this, and tried to call the guy. He of course didn't want to talk to me right then. not so many words, wants me to keep calling till he has time to meet up with me. Well I say screw that, I called if he wants to talk, his turn. If not. Fuck em all. Stupid asses with nothing better to do then pick on someone. I thought I was done with stupid little clicks when I got out of school (many many moons ago) But....NOOOOOOOO they still have stupid clicks and groups, and god forbid they talk to anyone who is different. And, yes, we all know, I am very very different. (bordering on the strange and bizarre actually) So... at these things I sit by myself, not talking to much of anyone, and cheering on the kids. And obviously that is enough fuel to piss people off and make them tell lies about you just so nobody else will like you either. Okay enough of that shit. To upsetting. hehehe

So... I'm sitting last night after dinner watching C.S.I. and Without A Trace.... Reach into my shirt to see what bizarre things have falling into my bra today. And in my nightly treasure hunt, I found a piece of cheesy cracker (which my son had in the morning), a mushroom (dinner), a piece of dry cat food (?????), a band aid (that was originally on my hip), a penny, and a cough drop. It's a scavenger hunt every day in my bra. I think the scariest thing, is not that I find all this stuff, but that I am not supprised at what I find anymore. hehehehehehehe It's natural instinct now to check my bra whenever anyone says they are missing something. "Honey seen the car keys" (grope) "NO".... "Mom where's my shoes" (grope) "don't know son" "Honey where did we park the car?" (gro.... well you get the idea.

Okay every one have a wonderful and safe weekend.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004


OH my goodness I'm so sick. I have a massive sinus infection. Got it over the weekend. Was able to get into the doctors on Tuesday. He gave me some heavy duty antibiotics. So, far I don't feel much better. I'm hoping for a big improvement by tomorrow. The thing that pisses me off the most about being sick is that I haven't been able to go watch my son's last two soccer games. I heard that they tied last night. We will see how tonight's goes.

So... as I sit here stoned on cold medication and clutching my box of kleenex like a teddy bear. I'm wondering if a person really can blow their brains out by blowing their nose so much. Some times it feels like it. And... have you ever blew your nose so hard that you almost pass out after the fact?? Or is that just me?? I just want all that junk out of my sinuses so that I can breath, and my teeth will stop hurting.

I'm also depressed today. Sat down and paid my bills. I still have a pile about an inch or two thick of ones I couldn't pay. But I took a good chunk out of them. hehehehehe I was so sick I couldn't even write out a check or do up my Avon.

Well....I don't like to sit and piss and moan (at least where other people can read about it) so this is gonna be a short posting. I'm hoping to feel better soon. Start communicating like my old self. God help you all. hehehehhee

Saturday, October 02, 2004

This Weekend

Gosh I'm cranky. I don't know why. It's not that time of the month. But I have been real cranky for a few days. Everything is pissing me off. So... I'm trying to redirect my energy and not be so pissy.

Yesterday I was running around so busy all dang day. Then I took Buster (one of the dogs) for a ride with me to go get the kid. We picked up my son from school and picked up one of his friends to come play. As I was driving home I realized that the homecoming parade was gonna start in a half hour. I wanted to be a hermit, so I was busting ass to get home and not let the boys know. Then when almost home I felt guilty, so turned around and drove back up town and we watched the parade. I think the boys got like 2lbs of candy.. I'll admit the high school kids throw candy way better than any floats in the Christmas parade or any other time. You'll be watching the stupid Christmas parade, and some moron throws 2 pieces of candy to a crowd of like 15 kids. Then you leave and all the kids are crying and upset cuz they don't get candy. Also in the Christmas parade the bargain center throws out stuffed animals. Well... they throw one every few feet. So then again, you got some poor kids that are crying and upset. I think all those adults should be lined up and have to personally explain to each child why they aren't special enough to get anything. Dumb asses. the homecoming parade. These high school kids knew how it worked. Good for them. They threw like 4 or 5 BIG hand fulls of candy to groups of kids. Everyone got a lot....and all the kids had a blast, and no crying.

Then last night my husband was supposed to be home between 4 and 5 in the evening. At 6:45 I was starting to get a little worried. (but since he is on the volunteer fire dept I give him some leeway in case he has a call out) He finally stumbled in after 7. I asked "Where were you" He says "at work" I go "not on a call" He says "nope had to work late" I say " did you forget how to dial a phone?" He says ( very pissy) "I don't have time to call you, I'm busy, just deal" I think that is what triggered me being so dam cranky this weekend. hehehehehe

So this morning he worked for a while. And I got up to do my Avon order up. Just to find out that they billed me for a bunch of stuff they didn't send me. grrrrrrrrrrrr hate it when that happens. So then starts the long process of trying to call them to get it rectified. Now Avon has this thing on their phone that is called the fast talk system. You speak into the phone instead of punching numbers. Now my husband knows this and I always tell him and the kid to be quiet when I call so there are no mistakes. So I call and I have to speak my acct number, that done. I have to say a few more things. Then it will get to a part where I say "specialist" (so I can talk to a human) and get my stuff taken care of. Well, my dork of a husband kept asking me stuff and bugging me about stuff, and I kept holding up one finger for like "wait a minute" and he just kept on. So as I'm speaking through this thing. I finally go "DAMMIT SHUT UP SO I CAN DO THIS" and the stupid phone goes. "please hold while we transfer you to that department." I just died laughing. I really wanted to see what the "dammit shut up so I can do this" department was. But nobody ever came on the phone. So... I had to hang up and try again. Needless to say after holding for 20 minutes, I hung up and e-mailed them (which isn't as effective or accurate with them) but we will see.

After I got so pissy about the Avon. My husband decided to get the boys out of here. (my son and his friend) so in case I blew they wouldn't be casualties of war. hehehehe So... he took them up to Octoberfest in the park. They have lots of motorcycles (harleys) and games, and booths there. So, I'm excited to hear about their day. I'm finally not feeling so cranky. But...I don't know if that will change once everyone gets home. hehehehe

I'm hoping to do some straightening this weekend and put up my October and Halloween decorations. Let you know if I get it all done.