The Gods of Wind

Okay what the hell??? Where the hell did this wind come from??? I heard on the news last night we were supposed to get wind today. 40mph all day and 60mph gusts. And we all thought, yeah right. Cuz the weather guy never has it right. Woke up this morning, and this tumble weed the size of my suburban was blocking out gate. I have no idea where it came from. So...Kiddo and I had to wrestle that away to get out of our gate. Then the wind is blowing so hard that trash cans aren't just rolling down the street (and we have those big blue cans) they are being hurtled like projectiles. I had one slam into the house, and I thought a care had hit the house. On my drive home from dropping kiddo off at school. I seen 3 blown over fences. 1 blown over shed, and about a million roof shingles and boat tarp coverings blowing around. We also have the worst sand here. We have sand, not dirt. And it's not fine, beach like, sand. It's like big sugar granules sand. And it will blast you so hard, that it can draw blood. And my poor baby Gigantor has to work outside in it all.

Oh my gosh, I almost got my ass knocked out by a "candy grenade" this morning.
Today is late start, which means the kids don't have to be to school till 9:30 in the morning, instead of 8. So...I'm in sitting on the side of the bed, watching the news, with my back to the door. And...WHAP!!!! something slams into the back of my head and neck, and stung, and made me see stars. I scream "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" And Kiddo is trying so hard not to giggle and he's saying "I'm so sorry mom, I'm so sorry" (he now says mom instead of mommy whaaaaaaaaa) And I scream "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING" He slinks in the room still fighting the giggles, they are coming out with little snorts and honks, but he's doing a pretty good job of seeming sympathetic. He crawls up behind me, and grabs the ammo. It was a roll of those little candies called "smarties" (well yeah they smart) And he goes, "where did the other one go?" I'm like "why the hell did you throw two of those at the back of my head?" He goes, "I was trying to toss them on the bed *honk* *snort*" I'm like, "TOSS??? you hurled those bad boys like you were throwing hand grenades over enemy lines!!!!" *SNORT* *HONK* He's shaking now trying to hold back the laughter. He goes, "mom (insert, are you stupid look here) they weren't grenades, they were sticks of dynamite!!!" I'm like "*snort* well that shit hurt." He goes "sorry, but HEY I killed the enemy!!!!" He walkes out snorting and honking, and now after the pain has worn off...I can't help but laugh about it. Who knows when we will ever find the other pack of those candies. After bouncing off of my think mellon they hurled themselves into the depth of my bedroom somewhere.

Hope you all had a happy valentines yesterday. And happy Windy Wednesday to you all!!!!