I was brutally attacked by my "monkey butt" pillow today. It leaped off the back of the couch and threw itself at me, tripping me to falling on the couch, where I then took a nap. hehehehe Only problem is, I feel asleep without a pillow behind my head, cuz it was tangled at my feet. And my head laid back on the couch, and I was doing that flip top head thing. And I got a major crick in my neck now.
CURSE YOU MONKEY BUTT PILLOW!!!!!!
Wednesdays are late start at the school. School doesn't start till 9:30. So in years past that meant an extra hour or two to sleep in. But this year kiddo and I are doing the childrens wed morning worship. One of the churches here (doesn't matter which one) started this. You take your kid in at 8, and they sing songs, have a story (from the bible) eat breakfast, and sing more songs, then go to school. They needed volunteers. So..I am the greeter, help with crowd control, work serving breakfast, and I drive anywhere from 3 to 7 heathens to school.
This morning the main lady sent my son off with his friends in another car, and said I didn't have to drive this morning. Then comes running out, one of her drivers left. I had the privilege of taking the "special" group. *insert groan here* I'm not to sure if I will be asked to drive again. I had two hyper active boys, that played war the entire time very loudly. One girl that was older than the rest that cried, and kept trying to open the door while we were moving, till I threatened to pull over and beat the snot out of her. (I know not good to do when it's not your own kid) a set of twin girls that sung the loudest songs they could. And one very special 5 year old pain in the a...er I mean boy. He started out by yelling at me that I didn't know how to do his seat belt right, and I should not have any kids of my own, cuz they will die. I crushed down the urge to stick him under my tire and back up. He then started saying how much he didn't like me, cuz he wasn't allowed to have any sugar, and my seats in the suburban look like sugar. (they are tan leather?? whatever...) So...at the stop light, I threw it into park, whipped around, put my finger in his face, and said if he didn't shut up I was gonna duct tape his mouth shut.
All in all, if I turned the radio up loud enough it was a pretty quiet ride after that.
Okay that was my Wed. How was your hump day???
p.s. got me some humping done early this morning hehehehee smirk
pps and no it was not by myself. lmao
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8 comments:
LMAO You go girl. Sounds like a great program. I used to hate when I volunteered at the kids school and I always seemed to get the hyper rambunctious boys in my class.
you are made outta better stuff than I am...I would have went-off on them at the very beginning...I can't take it anymore!!!!!
See, and thats why your a better person than me. I would have just duct taped the whole group together and dropped them off at the local satanist church for sacrificial practice.
Why wouldn't they ask you to drive again? No accidents, no dead brats, sounds like you did a great job.
I would have used twine AND duct tape on all of them right away. I think it has been established that I don't do kids, especially bratty kids.
Question....does "Killer Monkey Butt"..and.."Wild Monkey Sex"..have anything in common?
I mean think about it,,"Killer Monkey Butt" and "Wild Monkey Sex" can sooo easy go together...don't you think.
I mean like..if I were having "Wild Monkey Sex"...you know good and well I'd love to be having it with a "Killer Monkey Butt"!...what more could one ask for?
~
WELL ? What ya think Burfy?
:)
'Crowd control' with the 'heathens' am so loving this description.....and these kids go to church, I just know you did a damn site better job than I would of done with those 'special' kids :)
*smiling through the tears*
I'd say the very early was quite nice and the midday nap was nice, the in between sounds pretty bad! Oh my! I'd say yelling at them is far better than them getting hurt (jumping out of a car) and it's really very inappropriate to have all the special needs kids assigned in one car b/c clearly that is a hazzard. You get lots of points in heaven no doubt for that day!
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