Shared Stories

Thanks all for your encouraging words. I got about a 2 hour nap yesterday, and about 6 hours of sleep last night, and I feel like a new woman. hehehehe Any whoooooo I was visiting with D (gigantor's best friend) and he is a friend of mine also. We were talking about their hiking days, and he shared a so very funny story with me. That I want to share with you all. It's a little long, but well worth it. First some info. My hubby and D and a group of people called themselves the "dune members" they have been hiking in our surrounding desert on mesa's and across dunes since they were in junior high. They would go for 3 to 7 day hikes. They would carry their gear on their backs and they always had guns and knives. Being as there is coyote's and bobcats, and mountain lions around. So...anyhow, a group of teenage boys with knives, guns, and in camo. It's amazing they are still alive. hehehe But what good times they had. So...here is this great tale about one of said hiking trips.

MAD WOODCHUCK (pssttt I'm gonna tell it like D did)

One day we were camped far out in the desert. After dismantling our carried gear and establishing territorial rights, we decided to play hide and seek. Now our version is slightly different than the norm. Every one hides, and one person counts. Those that hide have two ways to win, 1. make their way back to a safe point without getting tagged, or 2. reamain hidden beyond the time limit without being found. If someone gets tagged he has to switch sides and help look for those hiding.

I decided to slide, unseen, into a place no one would find me. I found a place where a huge slab of sandstone had fallen against a mesa and left a little opening. The squeeze in was so tight, that even letting out all my breath I still left skin on the sandstone. (D is massively thin) I slid in sure that nobody could tag me even if I was found. It then dropped downward, I skooched along in a laying position. I made it through a series of twists and turns to the end of this "cave"

Dark, completely alone, nobody could find me, I had this game in the bag I thought.

In the dark silence I heard something besides me breathing. I was alone, and nobody could help me if they tried. My first thought was it was a huge rattle snake, but I soon realized it was a mammals breathing. It was so dark, and the size (small) of the chamber left but a few possibilities, a fox, coontailed cat, bobcat, woodchuck, porcupine, or badger. Anything else I thought of would be to large or small for this space. It's breathing was getting closer. I struggled to get my light, in a space no larger than a clothes hamper. Turning my head sideways I turned on my light. Much to my relief a huge woodchuck looked back at me. They aren't overly aggressive and a lot more cuddly than a porcupine. This woodchuck however, showed it's huge rat like fangs and charged me!! It made hellish noises that were amplified by the previous silence. It wove in and out of my light and line of sight. Soon I realized this was no bluff, it intended on winning this battle. Peace was not an option. I lay on my back, looking at my advesary, he no doubt had the advantage for I couldn't move let alone run.

It flew into my blind side, I could no longer see it, but hear it close in. Now I was inches from teeth used to sever small tree limbs.

My left hand thrust up to throw sand in it's eyes. In the process I hit the roof of the chamber and dislocated fingers. It worked a bit to well, the woodchuck, blinded continues it's charge. I batted it into the rocks, to shoo it away, now with three fingers bent backwards I was willing to give up. The woodchuck, however, now wanted blood. Even with the light, all I could see was dust, that now I was chocking on, and I started to crawl backwards. Trying to flee my advesary did little good, it was faster, and now it was aware of my sand and eye poking move. It countered with quick attacks jumping out of the dark and dust looking for flesh to sink it's teeth into. If it wasn't furious before, the small creature was now completely out of control. I drew my knife with one hand and held the light with the other. I did not wish to kill it, so I did short jabs to the snout. Which did little to improve it's temperament.

With both hands occupied in battle, I had to used my legs and chest to shimmy out of the tiny cave. Dust turned to mud in my mouth, nose and eyes. I was coughing and choking, and unable to breath. I continued my frantic defense agains the rabid, steroid infected, desert gerbil. As I made my turn between the stone and mesa I pulled something. People aren't designed to move that way, and not crawling backwards while fighting an enraged woodchuck. Cave debris and falling rocks had drawn blood from both me and the woodchuck. As I coughed, choked, with mud in my red eyes, three dislocated fingers, several cramps, bangs, bruises and bump on the head, I concluded that the rodent was definitely winning the first round. Those teeth couldn't get any closer without ripping open flesh, the "nearly blind rodent vs. man" title continued.

The closer we got to the top, the more of a frenzy and bloodlust took over. I had to hunch over to defend myself. The woodchuck countered with leaping full body attacks, that I had to defend from every second or two. The creature chuckled, squealed, screamed, between a symphony of hellish noises. Was this creature possessed by evil spirits of the underworld??? Even I no longer made human noises, for the battle was intense. I was trying to squeeze out of the opening backwards.

Unknown to me and the woodchuck our battle and drawn attention. All dune members had left their hide and seek game, to stare at this tiny opening in the rocks. Grunts, snorts, screams, chuckles, gaggles, screeches, and demonic echoes bellowed from a hole that was coughing out a dense cloud of dust. 10 minutes they wondered what was going on. Nothing like this has ever happened in the desert before. Nobody realized I was missing from the crowd, and a human in that size hole wasn't even considered, for it seemed impossible. The crowd knew that whatever evil hordes were within the earth intended to come out of that hole any second. 20 people waited with knives drawn and guns aimed, awaiting battle with the underworld demon.

When out of the dust a shape appeared. It was D!!! quickley yelling "DON'T SHOOT" as I raced by, leaping, running on all fours, crawling on my knees, with a few rolls thrown in for good measure, a flashlight in one hand and knife in the other. I pointed behind me choking/yelling. "IT'S AFTER ME" I continued running as the others stood dumbfounded.

The noise then burst out of the hole. Instead of hideous, bat winged demons with cast-iron pitch forks, as they expected, out popped a small rodent. Confused they dropped their guard and their weapons. The woodchuck snarled like never heard before, and charged. The faint hearted ran for their lives. Luckily it was a bluff charge this time. Weather it was fearfully outnumbered or tired of casting fear upon surface dwellers, it returned into the depths of the mesa never to be seen again.

If I was alone I'm sure it would have been my last day among the living. Thank goodness for friends!!! Anytime your in the desert and see a hole or crag in the rock, know that there is a wookchuck planning his revenge. Look out for woodchuck ambushes, there is no safe area from the Evil Woodchucks!!!!!