The following events took place at my house over the weekend.
I was in the back master bathroom, sitting on my throne, holding court, and trying to read my book. Kiddo was in the front bathroom sitting on his throne, singing himself a little song.
When then it happened.
I hear yelling. mom, Mooooooom MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM, in a panic.
me--What!!! I'm a little busy!!!! As I'm reaching for the paper trying to hurridly take care of business, so I can see what he's screaming about. Only to drop the roll, and get it rolling all over the floor, thus entageling myself in it.
I hear running, and he comes into the bathroom skidding to a stop, look of panic on his face.
Kiddo--OMG mom OMG OMG OMG something is wrong with my poop
me--what??? Still trying to get the t.p. unwrapped from around my legs
Kiddo-- I'm gonna have to go to the doctor or the hospital or something. OMG mom OMG!!!
me--What the hell are you talking about???
Kiddo--Something is wrong with my poop!! OMG am I gonna die???
At the mention of him going to die, I start to panic a bit and wonder if something really is wrong. All sorts of things are running through my mind. Was he spurting blood, did he pass a tape worm, was it coming back out of the toilet trying to eat him?? What the hell??? As I gaze at his little face (okay well maybe I shouldn't say little since he is 11, which he reminds me he's not a baby anymore) And see that he is scared and almost in tears. At which point I am completely tied to the dam toilet by the toilet paper.
Me--Well now calm down, and tell me what's wrong, so I can fix it. (sounding much more calm than I felt)
Kiddo--OMG mom my poop it's like bright blue, like pepsi can blue!!!
insert crickets chirping here.
Me--ummmm huh?? (with a confused look on my face)
Kiddo--Didn't you hear me??? My poop is BLUE and the entire toilet is now BLUE!!!!
more crickets chirping.
one raised eyebrow.
You can actually see the light bulb go off above my head.
Me-- *giggle* well...*snork* um... *snarfle*...How blue was it? *major belly laughing*
Kiddo--OMG mom why are you laughing?? My insides are rotting and turning blue!!
Me--OMG son!!! No they aren't!!!
Kiddo---huh??
Me--What did daddy and I get you for a treat a couple days ago???
Kiddo--Well a big slush from that one place
Me--And what kind of slush was it??
Kiddo--It was a bright blue raspberry slus........OHHHHHHHHHH!!! *shy giggle*
He walks off starting to laugh so hard he falls over. He then has to go tell his father and anyone who will listen about his blue poop.
Sheesh boys!!!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
A Blue Tale
Posted by Burfica at 9:28 AM
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19 comments:
**crickets chirping**
I got nothing. I'm laughing to hard to have anything other than a hernia.
alekx--yeah now I wanna get him all the colors of slushes to find out what other adventures we will have.
omfggggggg this is so funny I can't catch my breath for laughing...I can just picture his expression now...toooooooooooo funny...lmaoooooooooo.
flake---one of those times I wish I had a camera, but then again maybe not, cuz I was still on the throne the whole time. lmao
Too funny, Burf! Although, don't you lock your door when you're on the throne??? I'd be flipping out if my girls barged in on me while sitting there! LMAO!
phoenix--the back master bathroom the doors are like not there. lol And we have always been somewhat free and open, so...it's even hard to remind my son to shut the door when we have company over. lol
happened to me after one of those extreme energy drinks. It was a very nice shade of aqua.
Poor kid, good thing he had already done his buisness.
He's going to love that story when he gets older.
We had a similar incident with a fruit roll-up.
Kids and their poop. Gotta love it!
hammer, lorie-- although after eating pickled beets you think your bleeding to death. lmao
I've got to tell my albino poo story....
Laughs....a true making of a man in the works there.
melodyAnn--inquiring minds want to know
Miranda--yup, all boy there. lol
Thea reminds me of the time I walked into a bathroom stall at WalMart only to witness a giant floating log that was quite literally neon colored, floating in what looked like a toilet full of colorful oil!
Hilarious recollection, Burf!!
Jules--I think that would gross me out more than stuff within the family unit. lol
I remember the first time I took Pepto and saw my poop the next day and it was black!! I freaked out on that one for a bit.
lol, lol, LOL!!!
:D
swipes cheerful tears away from eyes - o, golly.
Soooo funny.
I was the "sage one" m' nephews came to for answers to questions such as these, "where does poop come from? - what is it?"
My reply started out with, "Well, boys... remember when it's sweet corn time & you eat it - like you can't get enough of it....? " lol!
Good times!
james---yeah neon green christmas cookies will do the same thing, cept make it neon green. hehehehe
Dorko--Some times you hear crickets chirping alot as I try to figure out how to answer something kiddo asks.
That happened to me once. Except it was a big bottle of blue rat poison.
good lord, I was waiting for the fruity pebbles!! But blue slushy works as well!
Mom
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