Memories

First of all, those two dogs crack me the hell up. hahahaha

Okay so the title says memories. I have been going through a ton of memories about my mom lately. Sharing them with my husband. He never knew her when she wasn't "sick".

So...he never knew the woman who laughed her ass off at things, or the woman who would horse around with us, the woman who played practical jokes all the dang time. Unfortunately, he knew how fierce she loved, but he knew her as in pain, and angry and not laughing much. So...I try to share how she was with him. He gets really tickled by it.

I also thought that some of these stories were so dang funny that maybe I would share some with you.

My mother got divorced after 14 years of marriage. I was 6 and Alekx was 13. She moved us from southern Az, to northern, near her dad and step mom. We weren't making ends meet to well, and her baby brother and sister needed a place to stay after college. So...she offered.

We had a three bedroom place. Both me and my sister had our own room. My mom wasn't about to let that get disrupted. So...My aunt (13 years younger than my mom) and her best friend slept on the hide-a-bed in the living room. My uncle (12 years younger than her) brought a little silver, oval camp trailer in the front yard. (you know the one's that look like baked potatoes.) He ate with us and watched t.v. with us, showered inside. But everything else was in his trailer.

I remember besides him working, he was a referee for the high school basketball team. (small town, used volunteers) Well he could only afford one set of ref clothes, so he had the shirt and the shorts. He wore Medium I think. Well he came home from the first game and went. "Dammit my shorts ripped out in the butt, I have to buy a size bigger" So....he bought large. Next game, same thing. So...he bought extra large, again, same thing. So...this six foot four inch skinny man bought 2xl shorts and came out of the back saying "If these rip out I'm gonna hurt somebody" My mom took one look at him and started cracking up. The shorts were massive baggy in the front, and snug in the back. My mom says "Ummm bro, you may be big, but not that big" and was laughing. He was upset to say the least. As he was leaving the house, she says "by the way Einstein the pocket goes in the back not the front."

He had been putting his shorts on backwards from the beginning, and they kept ripping out. I can only imagine what the other ref's where thinking, laughing their asses off.

Which leads me to this little gem of a story, so much a gem that my uncle told it at her memorial. hehehehe

My uncle would always bust in on mom when she was getting dressed or out of the shower and take her picture. It would piss her off so much, and he thought it was the funniest thing. So...mom kept trying to do that back. We have ton's of pics of uncle in a towel or blanket covering him up, he was to dam quick. Well...mom decided to get him back.

He was at work one day, and mom went and got his one and only jock strap, knowing he had to ref a game that night.

She got it wet and put it in the freezer.

And hour later she took it out and dunked it again, then placed it in the freezer in it's position for him to put it on. She did this over and over every hour. Giggling each time she dunked and repositioned the thing.

Uncle comes home and did his usual piss fart around till he would be almost late, then he was hurrying to get dressed. (something she counted on) He started running around the house yelling that he COULDN'T FIND HIS JOCK!!!

Mom goes, "Oh hey while you are up, take a pound of hamburger out of the freezer for me." She waited till he had like 4 minutes to get dressed and up there. He is hollering and opens the freezer to grab the hamburger, and stops dead in his tracks.

He just sorta stares in the freezer for a minute, then in a quite whisper he goes. "OOOOOH you bitch" We all cracked the hell up. Ummm yeah he had to put it on and leave. The screams are legendary. hehehehehehe

Maybe next time I'll tell ya how she went all ninja with some bread. hehehehe

Have a good Thursday everyone.