Fuck Me and the Crooked Eared Donkey I Rode In On!!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
This is a warning from the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. Warning---The following post will lack any "feel goody" kind of post, it will lack snark, it will not be up beat, and it most certainly will overflow with colorful language!!!

As you all know...I need to have that wisdom tooth taken out. I had a consultation with the oral surgeon yesterday. I had even made an appointment for the 3rd, to do the conscious sedation and get it out. HAAAAAAA as if life could be that easy.

The surgeon seemed very competent and compassionate. I liked him. I came ready. I was armed with my little leather marine corp notebook and pen (captain daddy got it for me) I was armed with Gigantor looking all menacing. I was armed with every question in the book, from intense medical questions, to little things of, what I would eat after words. I had the quote from the office that the fee would be 68 bucks and I refused to pay the 75 that his assistant said after it was done. I was prepared for anything I thought. HAAAAAAAAAAA as if.

I was not, not even, not a tiny bit prepared for what he told me. He can not do the conscious sedation. WHAT??? WHAT THE FUCK??? That's right, he can't. He can't because of me. He can't guarantee that he could sustain an airway, and that I wouldn't have major complications with all that's wrong with me. (I'M A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK I TELL YA)

He explained to me more about wisdom teeth, actually the bottom one's. About how after your 20's it gets more tricky to take them out. About how people over 32 actually shouldn't have them out. And after 40, it's down right dangerous. Because the bone and nerve has grown all around it. He said it looked like the roots were established in or very near my bone, and there could be some permanent nerve damage. That part of my face, lip or tongue could be numb forever. After armed with all that knowledge we got down to how we would take it out.

He could maybe, very small maybe do it with me awake. He can not do it with me under sedation because of the airway. With my age (high risk) with my other health issues (lymphadema, and blood pressure, and others), with my horrid gag reflex (he checked it), with my intense fear, with my weight (yes I'm a fat ass), and with all he has to do to get it out. He wants me at the hospital, and put all the way under and intibated.

He said to do it...he would have to go in and he has to cut my gums, and side of my mouth and pull everything back. (my tooth is in there horrid people) He would then have to take a little saw and cut the tooth in half. He would have to be extra extra careful taking the sides out, trying not to touch the root into the nerve (thus causing nerve damage) and pray that it already wasn't tied up in the nerve (thus guaranteeing nerve damage) And he would take it out, and have to stitch me up. He's hoping it could be an outpatient surgery, but the anesthesiologists would determine that, they might want to keep me for 12 or 24 hours.

Okay breath, in and out, nice and calm. I say, okay...well it needs done, so lets get it done.

STOP, DON'T YOU DARE THINK LIFE WILL WORK OUT THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO. CUZ DAMMIT I MUST HAVE PISSED GOD OFF SOMEWAY, CUZ IT CAN'T BE EASY!!!!!

Here is the kicker. We don't think the insurance will cover it. His company is calling for pre authorization. I called them this morning. They said they cover 80% of extractions. And they will cover surgery, but only if you need quite a few teeth taken out. grrrrrrrrrrrr holy crispy jeebus!!! (thank you melody ann) They said the doc could turn in a narrative about why I need the surgery and they will consider it. And we could also just do it and submit it and if it's not covered we could appeal it. In all the MOTHER BUNNY HUMPING years I've had insurance I've never had them reverse a decision when you do an appeal.

I feel so screwed. I don't know what to do. I don't have the money myself. And it doesn't look like I can get anything done for a good month or more.

And here is the icing on the cake. I got a call from my aunt last night. My last living grandparent isn't doing good. She is in the hospital again, and the doctors said this looks like it will be it.

I swear that big cosmic turd is being dumped on us this year. Time to wipe and flush dammit!!!

Hope you all had a better day than I did. Have a good weekend.