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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Comments and Stomach

First of all, stupid ass blogger is not letting me comment on anybodies blogs. Please know I am reading you all, and have plenty of snarky, off color comments I would send, but alas it's not letting me. I think it's conspiring against my snarkieness. hehehee

OMG my stomach, I have never had pain this bad in a long time. I was soooooo sick. Gigantor got sick on Friday and Saturday. I guess he gave it to me. Monday night, (yes that would be valentines people, the night of romance and wild monkey sex) after I ate dinner, I fell asleep on the couch. I never do that. And I woke up, and go. OMG I have to go to the bathroom. I was having the worst pains in my stomach. I ended up sitting on the toilet cradling the trash can between my hands on my lap, for over an hour. I went to bed and was in a fitful sleep all night. I even almost asked Gigantor to take me to the hospital, the pain was so bad. I made him go in to work late so he could take the kiddo to school. I couldn't have gotten out of bed to save my life. I kept the trash in front of the toilet, and a wet rag on the counter right there, cuz I had been so sick. I finally got up at 11. Got myself out of bed and dressed about 1. I even made it to go get the kids yesterday after school. Then I choked down some soup, and a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Well last night I was feeling alot better, just the pain in my tummy was still there, not as bad though. So, I'm in the bathroom on my throne, and Gigantor comes in to talk to me. Seems my boys always want to talk to me when I'm on the can. I decide to take the polish off my nails. I put the stuff on my cotton round and sit there scrubbing at my nails. After 3 or 4 minutes I realized that nothing is coming off. I'm whining to the hubby that this nail polish is kicking my butt, cuz it won't come off. *scrub scrub, grunt, scrub* Gigantor reaches down and off the floor picks up a bottle and says. "why don't you try the nail polish remover" I HAD BEEN SCRUBBING MY NAILS WITH A COTTON ROUND SOAKED WITH MY FACE TONER!!!! And fuck, it's not like the bottles even look similar. And they sure as hell don't smell the same. I was like "omg" and we started cracking up. So....I drop the soaked cotton thingie down to my left (where I usually keep the trash can), forgetting the trash is in front of me. So... here is the conversation from the rest of the time in there.
Gigantor---*laughing* your such a dork
me---*laughing* hush you (blowing nose, dropping dirty tissue down to my left)
him--*giggling* that was funny as hell, they don't even look alike
me--*gigglingback* hush I said, your not helping (soaking new cotton with nail polish remover) *scrub scrub scrub*
him---I wish I had a camera
me--*dropping cotton down to my left* Oh thank you so much I love you too.
him---ummmm honey??
me--*dropping a whipie I cleaned stuff up with down to my left* what
I hear a splat
me---Oh fuck there's no trash can there!!!!
him---*rolling in rumbling laughter* you've been throwing everything away for the past 10 minutes.
me--*laughing and embarrassed* why didn't you say something earlier??
him---*snorkle, snerkle, snark*
me--STOP TEASING ME, IT'S CUZ I'M SICK
him--*HAR HAR HAR HAR* yeah MENTALLY
then he walks off. I can't believe he said I was mentally ill. hehehehe I know I'm a dork, but sheesh. I was sick, not in my right mind, or in my left for that matter. lmaooooo

okay cheesy inside joke inserted here for Alekx (ask her if you wanna know what it means)

*claps* SHORT BUS SHORT BUS SHORT BUS

4 comments:

kitten said...

Awwwww...soorry your feeling "crappy", no pun intended Burf. Hope your better sson. But its true..you are even funnier when your sick.

Ps
Now I cant get the toilet scene out ofmy head...thanks.

(((hugs)))

Azathoth100 said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Sounds like something I might do! Hope you feel better sweetie. Don't you just hate stomach probs? I'v3e had and ulcer for 17 years and know those late night toilet sessions well. Both sitting and facing. get well.

MomThatsNuts said...

grrrr I cant leave any messages either,,,wait, did this work??? IS THIS THING ON???

Mom

Alekx said...

KB that was me in Tucson for a few days. I used to live about an hour away from Tucson.
And it's so easy to get Burf and I confused. You know us both being such smart asses....and such