Sunday thoughts

hmmmmm my thoughts on this Sunday. I feel really at peace. I haven't posted much this past week. To much stuff going on that I'm not going to get into at the moment. It's been a hugely emotional week to say the least. I didn't know that one person could cry that much, and there will be much more tears to come as things progress. But we aren't focusing on all that. We are trying to be happy and positive and full of joy.

Yesterday the kiddo had a complete and utter melt down. I had to be honest with him and tell him about his grandma and what to expect and what is coming. And he just shut down. He will shut down emotionally when he doesn't like something. So...yesterday it must have built all up. He was the child from the underworld yesterday. He kept picking fights with his daddy and with his best friend. He was saying some of the most awful things to his friend. I pulled him to one side twice asking him what was really going on with him and he kept yelling at me nothing, and would go be even more mean. I finally pulled him into my room, and said "WHAT IS WRONG" he goes "nothing"
me--something has to be wrong other than you just being a little cranky
him--no I'm fine it's just everyone else is being mean
me--no..your the one acting mean
him--(growls) no I am not
me--would you like treated this way by your friend
him---no
me--would you want to go spend time at your friends house if he treated you this way
him---(hanging head) no
me--why in the world do you want to hurt his feelings that bad over and over again??
him--I would want to die
me--right, so you would feel bad
him--no I really want to die RIGHT NOW
me--OMG why would you say that
him--*turning red fighting back tears*
me--so tell me what is really wrong!! is it about me and grandma??
him--*whisper* yes
me--OMG son I can't help you if you don't talk to me *I start crying*
him--*screaming and crying* DON'T CRY!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT WHEN YOU CRY!!!!
People, my precious little baby would not come talk to me about what was hurting him because it would hurt him more to make me cry. He has seen my crying most of the week, and he in no way wanted me hurting or crying more. I grabbed that kid like lightning and held him and held him and he kept saying over and over. don't cry mommy don't cry!! It broke my heart to shreds. My beautiful 8 year old man was bottling everything up and hurting others in his life just so he would not hurt me. God I felt to guilty. We talked and cried for a long time about how it's okay if mommy cries, cuz mommy feels much better after she cries. And that no matter if I cry or not, he should always come to me and talk about whatever is on his heart. After our cry and hugging, I told him he should go explain what is going on to his friend, and his friend loved him enough that he would understand. He didn't want me or daddy watching, so we were peaking out of the bedroom door. He walks out and calls his friend over and says. "I am soo so sorry about being such a creep today. My grandma is in the hospital, maybe dying, and I couldn't handle it" His friend (whom he has known since they were ummm a few hours old) Puts his hand on my kiddos shoulder and says. "It's okay, I know you must be sad, and I understand, and will always be your friend" then said friend hugs the kiddo real big. Okay, yes, that made me cry again. My child was an angel after that, so at peace and calm. He even got a phone call from his Auntie Alekx and his grandma so he felt much better.. I say it was perfect timing.

As of today, we went up and threw out about 5 bags of trash out of mom's house and brought home three boxes of stuff and 6 bags of stuff to put away and go through (some of it food) Then we got home and my lovely hubby is outside teaching the kiddo the very fine art of picking up dog poop. My lovely smart husband has decided that he can talk the kiddo into cleaning up dog poop every day for the cheap payoff of a quarter a day. The kiddo is acctually going for it. Let me challenge anyone to find someone to pick up dog poop for 3 giant dogs for a quarter a day. hehehehee I think we are getting the good end of this deal.

I do have to go now. Apparently the kiddo walked into a metal piece that was over hanging from the neighbors yard. Time to go clean his bloody head. ickkkkk

Hope you all had a good weekend. Much hugs to you all!!!