Doctor Day

I had to go get my well woman check yesterday. Oh what fun to go get poked, pinched, prodded, pulled, scraped, brushed, sliced, diced and violated every year. All this so I can just get my fricken prescriptions filled for the year. Yayyyyyyy NOT!! So I'm sitting there with nothing NOTHING on but my socks and the remanants of a paper gown. (that had to open in the front people) And Gigantor tattles on me (the fuck nut) He tells the doctor to look at my toe. I'm like "shut up fuck nut" The doctor was choking around laughter. So they wrestle me out of my sock and the doctor goes "OOoOoOhhhhhhhh NO" Great!!! Stupid tattle tale Gigantor. grrrrrrrrrr

Anywhoo, let me tell you about my toe. Back in January, before mom got sick. I had a hang nail that I pulled out from the side that was in the quick. (big toe people) And it got sorta infected. Well Gigantor took it upon himself to squeeze the shit out of it every day. He put some medicine on it to "suck" out the infection. Well the following day, I had all this fresh raw tissue poking up through the wound. Over the course of the week and a half we were in Phoenix with mom, it got worse and worse. I could barely walk. And I had this abscess of tissue up over half of my toe nail, and it was red and full of nerves and infection. Since then it has gone down some, not all, but some. I figure it will either heal eventually or my toe would fall off. Either way I was good. Like I said, Gigantor the fuck nut, tattled on me. And the doctor informed me that I had an ingrown toe nail. I said "so" He starts chuckling, and goes. "That nail is gonna have to come off, and we get you on antibiotics." OH FUCK NOOOOO!!! I said, "nope I'm good, ain't nobody prying my toe nail off" He says "we'll numb it first with shots" OH HELL NO I AIN'T GETTING SHOTS IN MY TOE!!! I complain and hem and haw, and almost cry. (people I have a phobia about stuff near or in my eyes and a phobia about shit with nails. Gives me the weebie jeebies so bad that I'm ill) He tells me I can show up passing out drunk if I want, or I can self medicate if I want. I'm still all "nope, ain't gonna happen" He then tells me that I'm pushing a real danger zone to have infection that has been in there for over 4 months and if I don't get it done right away that I won't be able to do the stuff I want to do this summer to work on my health. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrrrrrrr

His nurse is calling me tomorrow to get me in either Friday or Tuesday. I think I'm gonna continually throw up and pass out till it's all over with. He did prescribe me two little "happy pills" to take before getting it done. hehehehe

Okay Happy Tuesday everyone, and may all your toes stay in tact.

Oh and squeak squeak squeak