Here I Think

Oh my goodness. I think I am back. I am feeling a little better. I mean I have to be, there is nothing left inside me. Matter of fact I think I have turned myself completely inside out. Not a very sexy look, but at least I feel a little better. Was able to hold a tiny bit of food down.

I was sitting here thinking that my son just may have O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder) He probably gets it from me (shut up Alekx) I can be rather anal about somethings (I said shut up Alekx) But my son has these little quirks. Ever since he was a tiny thing. When he was 2 and 3 he could not walk through the living room without dumping the kitties scratching post over. He would just walk by--plonk--then walk off. You would set it up. His next trip through---plonk--and walk off again. So...one of his little obsessions is with the afore mentioned interactive holiday decorations/toys. He walks in the house every day and does his rounds. He starts with the moose, turns it on and listens, then Santa, then mouse, then Rudolf, not to forget the frog. He can't seem to function or do anything else until he has done his rounds of these. I realize to other people it looks bizarre. Even to the hubby it sorta freaks him out. Me, I'm used to it by now. One of his little quirks. Oh well.

I have to tell you all about something I was thinking about today. Have you ever talked to people that you just feel stupid after talking to them (shut up Alekx) I mean after you talk to them you feel you have turned dumb? Not that they are smart and making you feel dumb, but that they are so horribly dense that you feel like every ounce of smart has been SUCKED right out of your person?? Well I know such a person. I will call her "the girl" not because she is young, she is 28, but because I know some 6 year olds more intelligent. Oh good lord, I feel like brain cells are committing suicide when I talk to her sometimes. Let me tell you about one of our more intelligent conversations. I call my mom and friends, and yes even her, and ask them to please not call me, I was going to lay down. I needed sleep, I had only had like 3 hours sleep in the past 4 days. Now you may ask why I didn't turn the phone off. Well, the hubby works a dangerous job, and has been injured at the job. And the child, being the klutz that he is, has gotten hurt at school a few times, and my mother is handicapped. So, I like to keep the phone accessible. Any how I call and ask everyone not to call me. I then crawl into bed and start drifting off to some of the best sleep ever. I even had a smile on my face as I was falling asleep. And the phone rings. I jump, just knowing it's an emergency. I mean nobody could be that cruel as to wake me up right?? RIGHT???
me-- hello
her-- ceaseless giggling
me--What the Fuck??
her--OMG I had to call and tell you this (still giggling)
me--dammit, I told you I needed sleep, you woke me up
her--but if I didn't tell you this now I would forget
me--this better be fucking important
her--the funniest thing in my life just happened
me--you called to tell me something funny?? (much anger in my voice)
her--(still giggling) well yeah I would have forgot if I waited
me--I'm going back to sleep
her--wait let me tell you what me and my husband did
me--silent (wishing she would just spontaneously combust and leave me alone)
her--my husband was in the bathroom, and I wanted him to bring me something, and I couldn't remember what it was called, so I was making this weird made up sign language, and he understood.
me--(thinking God please shoot me now) and silent
her-- tons of laughter from her and her husband heard, her husband so proud of himself for understanding, and laughing as hard as her
me--goodbye so and so
her--don't you think that was the funniest thing ever
me--silent but thinking(no the best thing every would be if I got out of this fricken bed, loaded the shot gun, drove to your place, knocked down your door, and pulled the trigge.....)
her--okay you sound tired go get some sleep
me--hand up phone, then I say go fuck yourself.

Now keep in mind that is probably the most intelligent conversation I have had with this person. And some people say to tell her off, or hang up on her. But..you know...I'm not a cruel person by nature (dammit Alekx I said shut up!!!) So.. I put up with a lot of people's little shit. When the hubby came home, he was like "you didn't get any sleep" NOPE I was called by "HER" I told my hubby that when I talked to this person I felt as if my brain cells were leaking in a steady stream out of my left nostril. Which has started a little joke between me and my man. I was on the phone the other day, and he mouthed "who is it" I then plugged my left nostril, which made him laugh like the hearty giant that he is. Which made me laugh. When "her" and her husband were over one day. Gigantor walks in, see's them, and then walks by me with his finger plugging his left nostril. OMG I was laughing so hard. And I think what made it more funny is "her" started laughing and trying to imitate the gesture. So..at the little league game, as my husband (the coach) walks up, she says "hey Gigantor" and holds her finger up plugging her left nostril. I had to go pick him up off the field for laughing so hard. She has no clue. Thank god.

As an afterthought I sure as hell hope she doesn't have her computer up and read this, which I'm sure she doesn't. But just in case. If you are smart enough to think I'm talking about you. Then you aren't "her" hehehehehe

Okay do I need to go to confession now??? (SHUT UP ALEKX)