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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Bits and Pieces

I just got bits and pieces of stuff today. A few little things that have happened in the past few days. Lets start with. I am NOT going to the fire dept Christmas party tonight. I know my hubby wanted me to go, but I'm not. I finally told him to go and take the kiddo, because they are going to have Santa, and the dumb ass city this year didn't have Santa. But, here is my reasoning. (not that I'm reasonable or anything) I've not been in the best of health for about the past 6 months or so. (not physically or emotionally) And I haven't been in the biggest of holiday spirits. ( I usually oooze holiday, ask Alekx) But..I am still doing holiday things here at the house for the sake of the family, and it does make my heart feel good. But...I do not want to go to a four hour fricken party with these people. You know the kind---the one's you don't see but once a year at this party and they talk as if you are their long lost sibling. (fake bastards) Or the other end of the spectrum, the other group that huddles together, and talks in whispers, then laughs so hard they drown everyone else out. It's like fricken high school again, with these clicks and fake people. And THANK GOD they don't allow booze at this party anymore. That one laugh loud group would always be the ones that get so drunk they literally fall out of their chairs, then you have more laughter. Well...they would always bring their children too. I mean what an example, get that drunk in front of your kids. Then the fuckers would drive themselves home. Disgusting to see the towns supposed "rescue personal" getting like this. I mean they know what can happen, they scrape the bodies up. And I always hated having my kid around them too. So..this year, I just don't want to play the part. I don't want to buy into the fake, not have a good time, force the smiles anyway. I'm not going to this party, cuz I don't really feel like it. Hell, I'm not even going to my Avon Christmas party for much of the same reasons. I just want to stay at home and celebrate the holidays with my family. None of these people really care about me, and I don't want to go pretend to care about them. I'm letting the hubby take the kiddo for the purpose of seeing Santa and that's it.

Okay enough of that.

Monday night, my irritability at my husband came to a head and things got better. We were sitting on the couch and eating some leftover, home made clam chowder, and hubby made some of those "flakey layers" biscuits. Well, we are eating, and I ask hubby to butter me a biscuit. He says sure and does. He hands it to me with the top stuck back on. So... I go to pick the top off. (we all know how obsessive compulsive I am by now) and when I pick it up, it's only one of those little layers. I look at him and go "why did you break the biscuit this way?" he says "sorry" I go, "you broke this biscuit all wrong, you're supposed to break it in the fricken middle" he goes, again, "sorry" I then look at him, and with a voice much like Linda Blair. I say "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" he looks at me with the wounded puppy look and says "sorry???" Then I start laughing and can't stop. I just thought of me being so mad and thinking something was wrong with him over a fricken biscuit. OMG how pathetic I am. So, he starts laughing, and we both laughed for about 10 minutes, when I think about it still I laugh. I mean I was saying the what the hell is wrong with you so accusing. Like if I had caught him torturing small fuzzy creatures. That tone of voice. But it was about a stupid biscuit. lmao

Have you ever heard the term "fall over laughing" I have seen a few people do this. The hubby comes home the other day laughing himself. He says he told a joke out at work and this guy went to fall on his knees he was laughing so hard. And the guy drops to knee's, only knee's fall into empty 5 gallon bucket, which then tips guy over and his head went into another 5 gallon bucket. This brought much laughter from all the steel workers. hehehehehe So...I ask hubby what the joke was. Brace yourselves it's raunchy.
Q: What does 80 year old pussy taste like??
A: Depends

Okay I know gross. hehehehe But you have to remember this is a steel yard. So, then next day he comes in, and goes, well...I tried to hurt this guy again. I said "oh great, another joke" he goes "yup"
Hubby: Ever been neck deep in pussy??
Guy: ewwww no
Hubby: What are you an ass hole baby??

Last night hubby and I went and finished all the Christmas shopping for everyone (except him, I have to go to the store one of these days and finish his) And we come home and decide just to make some frozen pizza for dinner. So...I'm on the phone at the table, and he is at the refrigerator (the table is clear across my big kitchen from the refrigerator) I hear this noise and look up, and Gigantor is sprawled on the floor next to the table, on his side, like a swimmer doing the side stroke, his arm above his head and everything. I go "what did you do?" he goes "nothing" and sits up on the floor. I say (stiffling a laugh) "did you just fall down" He turns red and goes "of course not" all three dogs are around him by now, wagging tails and kissing him as if to say "you okay dad, huh huh" I am laughing a lot now, and go " OMG you just fell down" He's like "No, I'm down here so I can pet the dogs" I lost it then, I was laughing so hard. He finally told me the story. He squatted down to get something in the fridge, and when he went to stand up, he lost his balance, and was putting his hand on the floor to boost him up (which happens a lot here, so I can see that) only when he put his hand on the floor he put it on one of those dreaded stray dryer sheets, and just slipped right across the dang floor. Man my sides still hurt from laughing.

Okay, I know I was all over the place today, but that's sorta my mental state today. Maybe I have that adult A.D.D. LOL Like I need anything else. hehehehe

Happy hump day everyone.

Oh yeah and that shitty little electronic countdown thing I have announced early this morning ONLY 17 DAYS UNTILL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!


5 comments:

ThreeOliveMartini said...

Girl.. dont blame you for not going to the party . i cant stand crap like that.. you know i am no where near the fake zone I would end up telling some one to fuck off..

LOL @ gigantor falling and trying to cover ....

kitten said...

Sorry your not your usual festive self, Burf. If ya want to talk..email me...my adress is on my site. Hope your better. My 30 seconds of sitting r up. thinking about you. MISS EVERYONE..NEED TO BLOG......xox

Hi Alekx! Hi Olive!
Hi everyone ..!

Alekx said...

hehehehehe
But I shouldn't be so suprised at Gigantor falling over on a dryer sheet. After all this is the man who stepped on his own thumb while at a dead run.
That is just way to funny

Mia said...

Im feeling the same way, going through the motions for the kids sake, the sad thing is they dont even seem to care.

Im not a big fan of all this xmas stuff either, I usually am, but for some reason this year Im not.

Lol...and what is up with all the no alcohol policies?

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

i too hate partys like the one you described. Hate them with a passion. It's like that with my family gatherings. The small talk kills me. "So how are you?"
"How is work, still work at the same place?" first off I don't even care about work how the hell do you!!! ohhh man it's hurting me just thinking about it!!! I better stop before I get to twitchy!!

good luck and take care!